Suggestion: This story's audience already knows everything exposited in the first three paragraphs. "I cremated you" needs to be the first line.
Martha, he thought, would look lovely in a bridesmaid dress. Beautifully captures the Doctor's insensitivity to how Martha felt about him.
Like the story.
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Date: 2008-04-05 05:22 pm (UTC)Suggestion: This story's audience already knows everything exposited in the first three paragraphs. "I cremated you" needs to be the first line.
Martha, he thought, would look lovely in a bridesmaid dress. Beautifully captures the Doctor's insensitivity to how Martha felt about him.
Like the story.